A Sort of Abandonment
by Uisge Sgriobhaiche
Summary: After an accident, Yohji finds himself haunted by dreams, and Aya finds his dreams are coming true. AyaxYohji
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This story is in an odd sort of style, but I think I like it pretty well. It's from first person POV, both Yohji and Aya... in later chapters we'll hit some 3rd person, but oh well. Please review and tell me what you think... btw, when it says A or Y it is breaking to another point in the story and switching to Aya or Yotan's POV.**

**Disclaimer: These characters are in no way mine, nor will they ever be, and I am in no way making money or reaping any benefits other than (hopefully) praise and constructive criticism on my writing.**

_**A Sort of Abandonment**_

_**by Uisge Sgriobhaiche**_

_Kudou Yohji 8-26-9:55a_

A fucking journal. But, the books, the websites, the shows, even Kaili, they all say that a journal will help. Not only will you remember dreams better after getting in the habit of writing about them, it will help to deal and understand dreams. And Kaili Williams is never wrong, just ask her. American mentality can be annoying.

Better than just sitting back to let you haunt me.

_Kudou Yohji 8-27-2:26a_

Who are you and why do I dream of you? No one could be so perfect as you seem...

For two weeks you have haunted me, visiting my dreams with no invitation. Standing there, leaning against the doorway, a sheathed katana in your pale, slender hands as you stare at me, watching me.

How clearly you appear to me! I wake, remembering every detail of you, and simultaneously trying to recall the details as they begin to fade, as if you are here in my head, erasing the memories.

Red hair- roses, blood, deep crimson, an inhuman color that portrays violence and a deep passion. Short, eartails. Tall, but not quite my height, as the chips in the door frame are at your eyes, while I look down on them. Pale, slim, muscular... leather pants, black shirt, clinging.

Your eyes downcast, they catch mine in a glimmer of violet. I am not poetic, but your image demands to be portrayed poetically, and something in my tries to do you justice.

Who are you? My guardian angel, my own personal demon?

_Kudou Yohji 8-30-10a_

It was different. You, and two others. A teenager, eyes so bright that even in my dream I instinctively reached for my sunglasses to find them absent.. The other an athlete, muscular and short... younger than me, perhaps your age, a brunette.

And you. Your lips glistened.

_Kudou Yohji 8-31-11:12a_

Shirtless. Amazing, fucking amazing. I ran my fingers along your scarred chest, your pale skin almost translucent.

I woke to pain... my own scars. I didn't know scars could hurt.

Where have I gotten my scars, anyway? PI business can get dangerous, did get dangerous, I lost her to it... but I did not get all of these scars in the process. Impossible.

_Kudou Yohji 9-3-11:02p_

Four white, four black... silhouettes become clear. You three and myself, carrying wire, katana, darts, and bugnuks. Four more, the black figures, one with black hair and glinting glasses, fighting stance, in front of you. White hair, cyclops, scarred to a point where you must wonder if a human can lose that much blood and live, in front of the athlete. The name Ken, resonating in my ears- the cyclops? The teenager is with another teenager, a vibe of power is coming from him. In front of me, growling, orange hair, thick German voice, yells "Fujiyama" and something I do not understand or fully make out.

Are these my scars begging for meaning?

_Kudou Yohji 9-7-8p_

Kaili woke me from a nap on the couch. She said I was yelling in German, then in English. Says that I was yelling "Fujiyama! Hell will see him reign!"

I remember fighting, but I won...

My scars ache of a pain that has long since passed.

_Kudou Yohji 9-8-5:39p_

Kaili took me into town with her. She went to a dress shop, asked me to pick up something at a bakery for her. I passed a flower shop on my way, and as I peaked in the windows, there you were.

Your violet eyes- just as I remember- burned into me. Recognition, you dropped a vase of orchids. Kaili caught up to me, pulled me off before either of us could fully react.

You are not my imagination, not a ghost... who are you?

_Kudou Yohji 9-8-11:54p_

I will seek you out tomorrow.

**A**

I held the book, fingers splayed out over the open pages. I had seen the leather bound journal lying on the sidewalk, and rescued it from a rain shower. I assumed one of the school girls dropped it. I opened to the first page, seeking a name, and I found you. The latest entry was yesterday, saying that you would come back. It was your scrawl, your hurried and impatient scrawl.

I watched for you for the rest of the day, and Ken had begun to close up around me, making slight jokes at me about the 'school girl' journal I had found. I read your discarded journal as if it held the secrets to the universe. Maybe it did. I scoured that journal, looking for any clue.

I needed to find you.

The orchids I had ruined yesterday... I had seen you. It hadn't been my imagination, not like the past four times.

**Y**

I lost the journal. I lost it. Dropped it when the flood of school girls had come toward the flower shop, and I had ducked out of the way. Afraid you would see me and I wouldn't know how to react.

Kaili is on spending the day with some girl she picked up online. I am alone today, trying to work up the nerve to visit you. To retrieve my journal.

**A**

I woke Omi up from his nap. He hadn't gotten to sleep until midnight, up researching for a mission. He got up early, 7, to open. I let him sleep until my idea struck me. At 9 I woke him.

"Omi, no one has claimed this book, but there is a name. Can you look the girl up for me, online? An address so that I can return her journal?"

"Ohh... unh... ah, yes, Aya-kun... the name?"

"Kaili Williams."

He had the address for me in ten minutes. It is an hour's drive from here.

I will be there in thirty minutes.

Soon... and I would be with... with you...

**To Be Continued**

**Author's Note: Okay, I have more but I want reviews... will post more later! Please review, bad or good!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Not my characters, obviously, hence fanfiction. **

**Author's Note: This chapter is a flashback, obviously. Chapter Three picks back up on the present. Thanks to Mixie and moimoi-chan for my reviews! Cookies for you all!**

_**A Sort of Abandonment**_

_**by Uisge Sgriobhaiche**_

The circumstances were different that time.

We were not fleeing, no one on our trail- not the target's associates, not the cops. The mission had been more than successful.

Schwartz had no where to be, either. They were merely there to finish us once and for all.

That was fine with us. We were all in top condition, ready for a fight after the surprising simplicity of the mission.

Omi had the underhand against Prodigy, as always, but it did not slow him much. Mastermind was not at his best, giving you quite the advantage, Yohji. Ken and Berserker both equally dangerous, they were matched well.

And Oracle. He and I were both ready to fight to the death.

**Y**

I took Schuldig down, no problem, really. It was obvious he wasn't in top fighting condition, and I had him unconscious in no time. I would have finished him, but Omi cried out, being brutally beaten by Nagi.

I hurried to his aid. No one was going to beat on my chibi without me having something to say something about it. Nagi was thrown off by me slamming into his side, and Omi hit the ground with a thud, moaning. He got up quick though, trying to ready his weapon. Between the two of us, Nagi would be no problem.

**A**

Abyssinan had set in. There was no Aya, no Ran, only Abyssinan. Consumed by fury and rage, fighting, craving a kill.

Oracle felt it, too, you could tell. There was nothing, neither of us were aware of anything but each other. The bloodlust was maddening.

We fought, God how we fought.

An intricate dance of death. Nothing in the world except the two of us, our surroundings nonexistent.

He grazed me with a bullet, I cut a deep slice in his side.

He fired again, but I knocked the gun as he hit, slamming my katana against him, not marking him, but knocking the wind out of him. He swayed for a second, roaring in pain, attacking me.

His visions helped him, but my reflexes were equally helpful to me. The fight could last for an eternity.

**Y**

There was... pain... sudden and sharp... taking breath... blood, all over... my hand... breathing rapid... sharp... hard... as if my lungs... wouldn't work... but it was my stomach... bloodstained hands... but it was... my blood... where had... where had the... bullet come... from?... Schuldig, unconscious... not him... Farfello... engaged in... battle... no guns... not Nagi... Crawford... had to be... Aya... must have... dodged... bullet...

Pain... unlike... anything...

Hard to stay... awake... hard to... fo-

**A**

It is an odd trait, I suppose, but it is what keeps me alive. I am one body, and my personality has split into many. There's Ran, dormant (maybe even dead), waiting on his sister to wake up. There is Aya, once hellbent on revenge, no other goal in life, now being taught what it is to live by Yohji. And there is Abyssinan. The fighter, the guardian. He holds the walls up, protects me... when we go into battle, he takes over.

Abyssinan may have been focused on Oracle, but I heard Yohji yelp in pain, and I was instantly aware of him. Aware of the fact that I wasn't in control, Abyssinan was. But I could see my Yohji.

I watched, in absolute horror, no way of fighting Abyssinan. I watched, saw Yohji sink to his knees, the pain twisting his face in horror. I knew that the bullet was the one I knocked aside. I had shot Yohji.

I tried to react, but Abyssinan kept his focus on Oracle. Nagi, knocking Omi to the side, slamming something into Yohji's head. I couldn't help him, the craze Abyssinan was in...

"Aya," his lips moved, and I heard the whisper. For all the screams and yells I had not heard, I heard the barely audible whisper.

That was all it took for me to shove forward, knocking past Abyssinan. I slammed into Oracle, my strength all behind it. Oracle went down, his gun flying out of his hands. I ran, as hard as I could, past a bloodied Ken and an equally bloodied Farfello, and I was at Yohji's side.

He lay unconscious.

Nagi was yelling something, Crawford had them retreating, was dragging Farfello away, Schuldig being helped by the boy.

I held Yohji's head in my lap, my hand running through his hair. Ken and Omi fled, on my command. The ambulance was on its way. I would make up a story when the cops questioned me. But for now, I had more urgent business.

"You have to hold on, Yohji... I'm right here, I've got you... it's going to be okay," I was whispering, checking the bandage I had made from my shirt. It was tight around his waist, attempting to stop the blood flow.

The ambulance came, and I held Yohji's hand the entire ride, whispering the promises I swore that I would never make. We were assassins, and there would be no forever. No happily ever after. No growing old together. But I made the promises, begging him to hold on.

He had saved me once, saved me from self destructing... he was the only one I could open up to. He kept me human.

They took him away, bandaged me up, and left me to wait in the waiting room. The police came.

I made up a story. He and I had been at the movies. Yes, together. Yes, officer, both of us men. We must be gay, then, you're right. Hey, it's not the 1900s anymore, homosexuality is becoming more and more acceptable, isn't it. (Bastard, fucking cop, shut up shut up shut up). We were walking back to our apartment, and a man, a mugger, jumped us. I struggled with him, he shot Yohji, hit him in the head while I was lying there trying to get up, ran off. The other pool of blood? (Schuldig, no doubt, he had left quite a pool) It came from where I moved Yohji.

Luckily, they had already run tests, and Yohji and Schuldig apparently had the same blood type.

Birman showed up, checking on me before lying to the nurses. She was Yohji's sister, and she was let in to see him. I wanted to be in there, wanted to be holding Yohji's hand, but I was here. Out in the waiting room, the fucking waiting room!

She came out, her face blank.

"Aya? He..." her voice, cracking.

Nononononononononononono... she held me while I sobbed, uncharacteristic and unstoppable. She drove me home, back to the Koneko. Ken and Omi were waiting.

Ken held me back as I raged, held my fists where I couldn't hit them, kept the katana out of my reach. I retired to my room, sobbing until Abyssinan took hold of us, and I was hollow.

**Y**

I woke up, not one hundred percent sure of where I was. A hospital, obviously. A woman, and a doctor, speaking in hushed tones.

"What happened? Who are you?" I asked, looking toward the girl.

"You don't remember anything?" She asked, looking fearful.

I shook my head no, and then...

...I woke up, again, still fuzzy, head pounding. The doctor was gone, but the girl was there.

"Yohji!"

"How do you know me? Where is Asuka?"

"Oh, Yohji... you don't remember me? Birman? Your sister?" she asked, her face falling.

"No... I, where's Asuka? We were going into the warehouse, and then, I'm here..."

"There was an accident with Asuka, Yohji. You've been unconscious for a long time. She, she died Yohji."

She filled me in on everything .The drug dealers in the warehouse had been onto us, taken me out, then killed Asuka. There was more to that, but she didn't tell and I didn't ask. She told me that the doctors had predicted that I would wake up a week before, and, in light of the bastards burning down my apartment building, she had taken it upon herself to find me a small house and a room mate, since she was busy and couldn't take care of me like I would need to be cared for. An American, named Kaili Williams, really sweet girl.

I accepted this, trying to understand how I had lost so many years of my life, and my Asuka...

I couldn't understand how my wounds were recent if I had lost years to the coma, but she spoke with the doctor, asking him to explain. He had nodded, explaining that for some reason, my body refused to heal while I was unconscious. Now that I had woken up, the wounds should start healing. It wasn't unheard of, apparently.

I let my sister take me to my new home, I met my roommate, pretended to be happy and thankful, but I was hollow.

**To Be Continued**

**Author's Note: The chapter didn't turn out how I wanted it to, but I figured it would help if you knew why Yohji was missing and having odd dreams of Aya. Leave me reviews and I'll post more! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Not my characters. **

_**A Sort of Abandonment**_

_**by Uisge Sgriobhaiche**_

Thirty minutes. I was right. Unfortunately, I had no clue what I was going to do. Yohji obviously didn't remember me. What would I do? Run up to him and expect him to get back the memories of me when I kissed him? Could I honestly expect him to just accept me saying "Hi, we were lovers, then there was an accident, and I thought you were dead, Birman told me you were, but you're not. Do you want to get back together?"

Abyssinan had never dealt with this. He was just a facade to hide me, and he did it well. Had done it well for the past four months. I had no clue how to deal with anyone other than Ken and Omi, honestly, and while I knew Yohji... I knew the Yohji he had been, not whoever he was now.

I parked my car at a shopping center a mile away, choosing to walk to the small house that Omi had directed me to. It was nice, surrounded by trees and a decent expanse of yard. There was a section of garden, with ample hiding places throughout it, I just had to be careful of the numerous ponds decorating it. A girl was outside, standing on her porch, tapping her foot.

Kaili, I presumed. The girl that I was already beginning to envy. She lived with my Yohji, were they lovers?

My answer came as he came outside, smiling at her crookedly, "I thought you left."

"I did, but my car started dying, so I came back. Fia is on her way to get me."

"Ah, so I see."

"Ah! There she is!" Kaili exclaimed as a car pulled up along the small driveway. Yohji shook his head, laughing, and ducked back into the house, presumably to put on something other than the boxers he wore.

A gorgeous girl got out of the car, smiling at Kaili, "Bonjour!"

They both laughed at the French coming from the Japanese girl's mouth, obviously a joke of theirs. They kissed, and I was no longer in fear of her being Yohji's lover, and they got into the car, pulling off.

Yohji came back out, wearing jeans. His chest... bare... how I have missed him. I ached to run up to him, to throw my arms around him and have him tell me that he was back, it was ok.

But I remained perched in the tree I'd climbed, hidden by the leaves.

He pulled his hair back, high and tight up on his head, and I wanted to yell at him! No, you don't wear your hair that high, or that tight... you were it low and loose... it gives you a headache to wear it that high.

**Y**

I pulled my hair back, pulled out a cigarette, and collapsed against the swing in the yard that Kaili had insisted on. It was rather comfortable... I definitely wouldn't complain about it.

It was one of those rare days where I felt like working, but being very well settled in the money department (apparently Birman had taken care of me, filing all the right suits against all the right people, while I was in a coma) I hadn't bothered to get a job. Who would want a job when you could laze about without worrying?

I got up, moving about in the garden closest to our house a bit... Kaili was very, very fond of gardens and flowers, and I was surprisingly good at identifying flowers and weeds and tending the flowers, so we had more gardens than anyone else in the small neighborhood. Which was quite a feat in the neighborhood we lived in.

The garden closest to the house was a nice array of wild orchids that Kaili had loved, and I was oddly drawn to them as well. I fiddled around, uprooting some weeds, trying not to think about the dreams I'd been having. I was too annoyed, and surprised by that man's existence, to begin a new journal.

It took effort, but I managed to push the visions from my head, and lose myself in the gardening.

**A**

I couldn't help it, I couldn't just sit back and watch. I had to talk to him...

**Y**

My humming stopped, as I heard footsteps, my hand sliding to wrap around the shovel as the hairs on my neck stood up.

I stood, cautiously turning, and there, in front of me... it was him.

Red hair, violet eyes, pale skin...

My heart stopped, and he opened his mouth to speak.

**To Be Continued**

**Author's Note: Short, yea, but oh well. Please review, and I'll post more! **


End file.
